As the wedding season is upon us, one of the questions I’m constantly asked is, ‘What is the correct etiquette on replying to a wedding invitation?’ Below I share my thoughts which I hope will be of some help – these tips can actually be applied to any kind of invitation.
A ‘traditional’ wedding invitation has the postal address in the bottom left corner of the invitation and typically signifies a traditional, formal reply. However, times have moved on and many invitations now include email addresses and phone numbers – an email or a phone call reply will obviously be more casual. That said, for those not technically minded or who prefer traditional communication, a letter of response is always more than adequate and a lovely keepsake for the couple too and certainly won’t offend.
My belief is that however the RSVP details are presented, it should be assumed that this is how the bride and groom/hosts would like you to respond. Equally, a good rule to follow is to base the formality of your response on the style of the invitation.
Formal invitation = formal response
For a formal response to a formal wedding invitation or formal event like black tie, a guest should write in the third person, following the wording of a formal invitation. For example,
Dear Mr and Mrs Thomas Harmsworth
Pollyanna and Tim Montagu
accept with pleasure [or, regret that they are unable to accept]
their kind invitation
to the wedding reception of their daughter Philomena & James Smith
On Saturday, 18th August 2023
Yours Sincerely,
Pollyanna Montagu
For a split acceptance/regret, where more than one person has been invited, but not all are able to attend, the following form is used:
Dear Mr and Mrs Thomas Harmsworth
Tim Montagu
accepts with pleasure
his kind invitation
for Saturday, 18th August 2023.
Pollyanna Montagu
regrets that she is unable to attend.
Yours Sincerely,
Tim Montagu
Informal/contemporary invitation = more informal response
For a more informal personal approach, usually written to hosts directly that you know well, write in the first person and keep the response brief but sincere or with a touch of humour. For example,
Dear Thomas and Patricia,
Tim and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend your wedding on Saturday, 18th August 2023. We look forward to sharing in your special day.
Yours,
Pollyanna
or
Dear Thomas and Patricia,
We are so sorry we will be unable to attend your wedding. Unfortunately, we will be away on holiday. You will both be in our thoughts during your special day.
Love to you both,
Pollyanna
I hope this helps. The main thing is to try to remember to be as prompt as you can with your replies. It helps the bride and groom plan ahead and get final numbers that they can then pass onto the caterer and venue.
How to reply to a wedding invitation
As the wedding season is upon us, one of the questions I’m constantly asked is, ‘What is the correct etiquette on replying to a wedding invitation?’ Below I share my thoughts which I hope will be of some help – these tips can actually be applied to any kind of invitation.
A ‘traditional’ wedding invitation has the postal address in the bottom left corner of the invitation and typically signifies a traditional, formal reply. However, times have moved on and many invitations now include email addresses and phone numbers – an email or a phone call reply will obviously be more casual. That said, for those not technically minded or who prefer traditional communication, a letter of response is always more than adequate and a lovely keepsake for the couple too and certainly won’t offend.
My belief is that however the RSVP details are presented, it should be assumed that this is how the bride and groom/hosts would like you to respond. Equally, a good rule to follow is to base the formality of your response on the style of the invitation.
Formal invitation = formal response
For a formal response to a formal wedding invitation or formal event like black tie, a guest should write in the third person, following the wording of a formal invitation. For example,
Dear Mr and Mrs Thomas Harmsworth
Pollyanna and Tim Montagu
accept with pleasure [or, regret that they are unable to accept]
their kind invitation
to the wedding reception of their daughter Philomena & James Smith
On Saturday, 18th August 2023
Yours Sincerely,
Pollyanna Montagu
For a split acceptance/regret, where more than one person has been invited, but not all are able to attend, the following form is used:
Dear Mr and Mrs Thomas Harmsworth
Tim Montagu
accepts with pleasure
his kind invitation
for Saturday, 18th August 2023.
Pollyanna Montagu
regrets that she is unable to attend.
Yours Sincerely,
Tim Montagu
Informal/contemporary invitation = more informal response
For a more informal personal approach, usually written to hosts directly that you know well, write in the first person and keep the response brief but sincere or with a touch of humour. For example,
Dear Thomas and Patricia,
Tim and I are delighted to accept your invitation to attend your wedding on Saturday, 18th August 2023. We look forward to sharing in your special day.
Yours,
Pollyanna
or
Dear Thomas and Patricia,
We are so sorry we will be unable to attend your wedding. Unfortunately, we will be away on holiday. You will both be in our thoughts during your special day.
Love to you both,
Pollyanna
I hope this helps. The main thing is to try to remember to be as prompt as you can with your replies. It helps the bride and groom plan ahead and get final numbers that they can then pass onto the caterer and venue.